Modern Masculinity

January 22, 2024
In this amiable guide, psychologist Poulter (Your Ex-Factor) implores men to cast aside “old-school ‘dude’ thinking and ‘jerk’ behavior” and take seriously their “physical health, relationships, emotions, and self-doubts.” Highlighting “silent, rugged cowboy” stereotypes and a focus on money and social status, Poulter explores how a male culture that sidelines emotional needs is perpetuated and offers in its place a “masculinity of compassion and kindness” that “empowers boys, young men, and adult men to change their world... from the inside out.” Steps toward change include identifying one’s emotional “blind spots” (viewing humility as a personal weakness, for example) and fostering close male friendships instead of leaning on romantic partners to meet all of one’s emotional needs. Interweaving his guidance with brief quizzes, question prompts, and step-by-step breakdowns of key concepts, Poulter provides a usefully interactive survey of a more balanced and evolved masculinity, though off-kilter tangents sometimes distract, as when he cites “the horrific saga of Jeffrey Epstein” as a “cautionary tale” that “no man is beyond the hand of justice, regardless of his immense wealth social power.” Still, this is a fresh and thoughtful take on what it means to be a man today.